Of course I made those Air Canada figures up, but I have to have some fun with this blog.
Fun is good. Fun makes you laugh and laughing is healthy. Rarely have I laughed as heartily as I did yesterday. I went on-line to check the Environment Canada wind report for Saint John. The forecast was calling for west winds of twenty gusting to forty kilometres per hour. The five o'clock wind reading recorded winds of twenty km/h with gusts to forty km/h.
What are the odds? Seriously...what are the odds? About the same as pigs flying (see Air Canada). In fairness, no pigs fly with Air Canada, but there are a number who work at Air Canada's head office.
Wow...I dissed Environment Canada. I dissed Air Canada. Still, something seems missing. Oh, I know, I didn't say anything negative about Tim Horton's or Brian Mulroney.
Well, here goes (though I never said these words, they're borrowed):
Prime Minister Mulroney was making a speech to native leaders on the
anniversary of the Oka uprising. And like all his speeches it was short on
substance but long on wind.
"I pledge a swift land-claims settlement," the P.M. said.
The crowd shouted "Oompah, Oompah!"
The P.M. paused and nodded in appreciation. "I pledge a better education
system," he continued.
"Oompah, Oompah!"
"I pledge more money for native causes despite our current policy of fiscal
restraint."
"Oompah, Oompah, Oompah!" the audience roared.
Finally Mulroney finished his oration and was given a tour of the reservation.
At one point the grinning P.M., obviously pleased with himself, almost tripped.
"Careful, Mr. Prime Minister," his guide warned him "Don't step in the
Oompah."
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