In fact, my first reaction was '$6000 to make your boobs bigger, you've got to be out of your melon-picking mind'. I meant that literally. Why would anyone pay $6000 to have their boobs 'augmented' (and for that matter, why call it 'augmented' and not the more apt 'double-doubled'?).
Boob super-sizing can only be justified* in three ways:
1) to enhance the perceived lack of self-esteem or inadequacy of 'the victim'.
2) to increase the perceived attractiveness of 'the victim' to the opposite sex.
3) putting $6000 in your pocket, if you're the mountebank who's selling this service, because it costs a lot of money to drive a Porsche.
*Note: I am wholly unqualified to speak on this topic with authority**, though I'm pretty sure I'm right.
**Note: this is true for all of my blogs.
I can think of real benefits from augmentation. For example, no one will ask you to do push-ups anymore because your arms will no longer reach the floor when laying face down. You'll also be very popular as a human umbrella/bus shelter during rain storms, etc. Let's face it though, if your self-esteem is tied up in your boobs then you might better spend your money on a therapist. Or, if the kind of man you're trying to attract at the bars prefers the Himalayas to the Appalachians, or the Appalachians to the Prairies for that matter, then perhaps you should avoid social climbers. There's always a higher mountain somewhere else, as a Matterhorn of fact.
Maybe you're just plain dumb, or perhaps you're a genius and you simply don't care for string theory, global poverty or climate change. Maybe you just want big boobs, end of story. You know you can't run with those things, eh? In Darwin's survival of the fittest, the saber tooth tigers eat the cumbersome big-boobed girls. You're battling genetics when you augment, you know. Just sayin'.
Another point worthy of noting, when you see 'them' on Cumberland Avenue, you know they're fake because they look fake! And if the boobs are fake, chances are that their host unit is pretty shallow too. So, and I direct this to the men who comprise 66% of my readership, if you're shopping for a petri-dish princess, look no further than Yorkville. Everything there is fake, false and veneered. That's why it's a bellwether for the collapse of a logical society, and a gold mine for those who write about its demise.
One parting thought....when I was shopping for a new sofa for our condo, I fell in love with a tan leather sofa that was both plump and firm, yet pleasing to the eye. It was beautifully constructed using a blend of raw, natural fabrics with some man-made adornments. It was far more alluring than all the others that I saw. It was $6000.
No comments:
Post a Comment