Pillow Talk: Two Heads Are Better Than One

Recently I was shopping at Sears for a new pillow for my bed. Luckily I found one, but while I was shopping I did pause for a thought-filled fantasy moment. I thought to myself 'boy, it sure would be difficult to find a pillow if I had two heads'. Then I went back to testing one head pillows.

Lo and behold, what shows up on Kijiji but a bedspread (beadspread) which includes a two head pillow. I'd tell the Siamese twins down the Lower Cambridge Road about it, but, if I remember correctly, they moved back to Minto and I haven't got their number anymore.

You Call That Gusty??

I'm thinking about going for a windsurf because it's windy. The Fredericton forecast shows northeast winds gusting from 21 to 65 km/h. This could be awkward.

What should I rig?

The Pursuit Of Happiness - Ultimate Windsurfingmobile Edition

Don't worry, I'm not about to buy this faded dandelion. It's just one of many vehicles that have been considered for  'ultimate windsurfingmobile' status.

Think of my windsurfingmobile quest in the same way that you'd think of a birdwatcher hoping for a glossy ibis sighting. Sure, you want to find one, but you're not actually planning to bring it home! The thrill is in the chase.

I probably shouldn't use the word 'chase' when talking about this luscious lemon. I don't think it could chase anything, let alone the wind. It might be able to overtake a moped, but not with a headwind or up a hill.

So why is it a contender? Quite simply it meets most of my criteria:
1) It could hold a lot of windsurfing gear.
2) I could sleep in it, maybe even with Wendy (at least for one night).
3) It's affordable.
4) It has nice windows.
5) It's just a tad outrageous.

This van has it all. It laughs in the face of danger (which it would encounter every time it was shifted into drive). It's delightfully irreverent, and that's how I wish people would view me. Shouldn't your vehicle be a reflection of you? I'm a rebel. Yes...rebel without a clutch!

Okay, so I'm not a rebel. I drive a Ford Focus station wagon. I have used a Swiffer on multiple occasions. I  hand wash my dishes wearing rubber gloves. <Sigh>. Can you not see why the ultimate windsurfingmobile has its allure? It speaks directly to my inner Marlboro man, but without the smelly cigarettes.

I see the ultimate windsurfingmobile parked on a bluff. The evening light is low and warm. Below me the salty ocean settles down after a day of thunderous surf. A fading breeze blows through my hair.

Hair?

Okay, so I need a van and a wig. <Sigh>.

Cambridge-Narrows - April Pretending To Be July

April 29: sunny, windless, 21 degrees. Ahhhh...heaven, except for the windless part!

It's so nice to be here. I took the SUP out for its inaugural paddle for 2013. Felt great. I paddled up to Steve Johanson's place, then back along to the Akerley's cottage where I had a chat with Keith and his brother Myles. I then paddled to Robena's before returning home.

Glorious day.

The Annapolis Valley

Four images from a recent frolic in the Annapolis Valley with Gup and Andy. All images were taken at a Ducks Unlimited site, Miner's Marsh, in Kentville.

Shadowy Figures

A Headless Photographer?

I'm a little teapot...

Fat people must love shadows. Your shadow is almost always long and lean in the evening. At least your legs and doak always seem to be thinner.

Political Correctness Police Probe...

Am I even allowed to say 'fat people' these days or must I say 'those blessed with ample lipids'?

Exonerated.

Regardless, the only way that my legs could possibly appear thinner is during the waning hours of sunlight, when my shadow takes on the appearance of a stilted clown. A headless clown in this image.

Though shadows exaggerate my legs, they sometimes compress the top end. I look rather short and stout in the other cropped image, wouldn't you say?

Shadows can be great fun. It's how we used to amuse ourselves in the evening, before Wheel Of Fortune hit the airwaves and turned us all into mindless vegetables.

Dumpster Diving 101

The Scottish are known to be thrifty. The British are known to be 'collectors'. Canadians aren't known for much. I'm half Scottish, half English, and all Canadian. This is perfect because it allows me to dumpster dive without remorse. It's a genetic flaw...out of my control.

The pine bed frame in this picture was sitting next to a dumpster in my Toronto condo building, waiting to be carried to its death. I saved it.

I am....Ian Varty, dumpster diver.

And proud of it. In all likelihood the former owner(s) of this bed probably found that it didn't suit his/his or her tastes anymore, so they placed it next to the dumpster in the hope that some entrepreneurial, self motivated, semi-Scottish garbage hawk would find it.

Then along comes Ian.

The bed is now in Julian's room and it looks like a million bucks, but cost exactly one million less. Victory is mine! A celebratory meal of haggis and mead is on tonight's menu, if I can find a haggis in a dumpster (the most logical place to find one).