It's Not Polite To Speak Ill Of The Dead, But...

It's not polite to speak ill of the dead, so I won't. I will, however, speak ill of the parents of the dead. Who in their right mind would name their son Ethelbert?

Who, other than Bert and Ethel, I should add.

I went for my morning walk yesterday, as per usual. I took Lakeside Road, the one that passes the school, the mustang stable, the medical clinic, and a graveyard. Occasionally I look at the tombstones as I pass the graveyard, though not always. As I was walking alone yesterday (and not distracted by beautiful Wendy), I took the time to gander at a few of them.

I happened to glance at one tombstone and was struck by what a horrible name someone gave to their daughter....Ethelbert. I then noticed the words 'his wife, Agnes' underneath. I was stopped in my tracks. Founded dumb. You mean to tell me that Ethelbert was a man??????

Of all the hair brained, cockamamie names to give your son......

Can you think of anything worse? Gawd I hope they, at least, had the dignity to refer to him as Bert. Or Jim. Or George. or Cornelius. Anything but Ethelbert.

Are you paying attention, Julian? We could have named you Edithian, or Mildredick, or Gertrudebilly, or Nedrarden. Thank your lucky stars you have a normal name for a British descendant.