Reflections On Toronto

On the off chance of jinxing myself prematurely because I still must endure three more days in Toronto, I'd like to publicly state that my time in Toronto went better than expected. Why? The main reason is that I enjoyed spending time with my wife. I enjoy being married and it felt like I was. I also enjoyed the many social engagements in which we were immersed. Toronto has provided a change of scenery from Cambridge-Narrows. Is it better than Cambridge-Narrows? No. Not even close, but having contrast in your life is a good thing. It makes you appreciate the difference between good and great.

 

I learned in Philosophy class, about a hundred years ago, that you really can't have something called 'heaven' without a contrasting place. Let's call it 'Minto'. Kidding! It's actually called hell. What would heaven be without hell. What would Cameron Diaz be without Rosie O'Donnell? These are extreme examples often used by extreme people. Anyway, you get the point.

 

It's good to have variety in your life. Though the apple fritters at the farmer's market in London (ON) are spectacularly good, a daily diet of them would lessen their impact/enjoyment. I love Cambridge-Narrows and the life I have there, but I think I'll love it even more now. On Wednesday I'll unstrap the friendly cilice that is Toronto and I'll make my pilgrimage back to gawd's country.

 

Gawd! I can't believe nothing has changed!!

 

Oh, but things will have changed....for me.

Men Are From Mars. And Bars. And Mars Bars. Mmmmm...Mars Bars.

Hello, darling. Yes, I'm talking to you, my delicious little cupcake!

Okay, so I stopped into a cafe the other day with the sole intent of having a coffee and perhaps a conversation with a human. Instead I found myself whispering 'I love you' to a cupcake. A mini cupcake to be precise.

The cafe had a fresh pan of Mars bar cupcakes, something I've never had before. They were tiny, like the better half of a two-bite brownie. I couldn't resist, so I ordered one. They had a moist, brownie-like base, some chocolate fudgesque icing and sliver of Mars. Out of this world!

Bet ya can't eat just one!

I asked the barista-bakista where to get a pan so I could make my own. I was given directions to a Chinatown kitchen supply store, and I promptly went there, but not before having two more with my morning coffee. Note to Mark Messier: shut up!

The Geographical Context Of Organs

Relax, I saw this poster in the music faculty building at UofT. Had I seen this posted in my gaybourhood, well, things could have been very different.

In the music faculty building an organ performance likely means that a student who studies organ is giving a recital. The music building is currently plastered with year end recital posters. A lot of the recitals are for singers and many are for instrumentalists. At least one is for an organist.

I wasn't really aware that you could study organ at UofT. I've never heard anyone play one there. I haven't seen one either. You might say that the music faculty organs don't get much exposure.

A scant mile away, in the gaybourhood, the organ appears to be celebrated. I've seen posters for a 'men's sex maze', whatever that is? There are huge billboards for men's underwear (tighties, but not boring whities) with rock solid male models relaxing on granite outcroppings (poor choice of words, I know). There's more than just two dimensional signs, I should mention. I can purchase my groceries at Loblaw's and within 150 feet walk past the window of a mannish men's club where a female impersonator is 'performing' in the window, likely lip-synching along to musical theatre ditties.

Anything you can do, I can do better. Not in this case.

The clubs in the gaybourhood have very organic names like Woody's, Sailor, Flash and ZippersZ. It's funny that the gaybourhood clubs are so suggestive by name. It's certainly not that way in the hetero world. We have boring bar names like Cheers, the Football Factory, Wayne Gretzky's, Hurricane's Roadhouse and a slew of Irish pubs with all-too-forgettable-names. So forgettable, in fact, I have to make them up: Dublin O'Nothing's, Paddy's On The Wagon, and Scrotum O'Malley's.

Organ performance. That all you need to know. Next topic, please.

Elephant Sized Humour

This will be my last posting that contains a Far Side cartoon. It's not that I've been threatened with legal action by Gary Larson's lawyers, it's just that I can't keep 'borrowing' his cartoons and posting them. They are his, and not mine. I need to create my own thoughts and images, but his are just so brilliant and funny.

I urge you, go now to Chapters. Buy his Far Side books and laugh yourself sick.

Today's cartoon was my favourite from the book that I happened to pick up at the coffee shop last week. Everything about it is perfect.

No Escaping...The Rhino

You may have noticed a bit of a rhino theme as of late. I'll confess that I have been actively pursuing all-things-rhino. Why? Why not??

Yesterday the rhino found me. I was in the neighbourhood of College and Spadina searching for an ink cartridge for Professor Nielsen's Canon inkjet printer. I managed to find one just west of Spadina. There seems to be a glut of computer stores there, no doubt catering to the university population.

As I was walking homeward, east on College Street, I glanced backwards for no apparent reason other than the fact that my head is typically on a swivel most of the time. Think 'wise old owl' without the wise part. I'm more of a curious middle-aged turkey. Looking back I saw a monstrous mural. Of course it was a giant blue rhino painting on a brick wall between Chinatown and the University of Toronto...the rhino's natural habitat. What could be more natural?

But seriously....

Why there's a rhino mural in that location is beyond me. I'd love to know how and why it happened, but I'll probably never know.

Rhinos In Popular Culture

You see, it's not just me and Spidey who are enthralled by all-things-rhino. A rhino even appears in Gary Larson's Far Side cartoons.

Rhinos: they're large, they're lovable and they're everywhere.

Everyone should have one. Have you got yours yet?

Mr.Cropper Gone Wild

Is this childish? Yes! Nevertheless it's a good reminder for those of you who are into photography to compose or crop your images carefully.

This image was taken on Yonge Street near Lawrence Avenue. Sometime when you're in Toronto take a walk around Chinatown...that place is a gold mine if you're looking for signs that don't translate so well, or are open to misinterpretation.

Don't forget to check out menu translations as well, they're even better. I read about a place in Chinatown that makes a great tenderlion steak. That would make an excellent mane course!