Christmas A to Z. Easy as 1, 2, 3.

It's shaping up to be A merry Christmas, though that is to B seen. You C, things often go from D lightful to E gad.

What the F___?

G, we don't use language like around here! H who! H who!!

Bless you.Getting a cold, Ian ?

I don't think so. Hey look, a blue J.

O. K....I see what you doing now with the alphabet. Why the L are you wasting your readers' time with frivolity?

The wasting of resources is a Christmas tradition. Other Christmas traditions include eating way to much chocolate, like M&Ms. N joyable, but bad for you.

Like O my god, it totally is!

And too much drinking. Speaking of which, I gotta P, but first I'll put on the radio. It's time for Q. I just love Jian Ghomeshi.

You're going to put on the radio, R you? Care for a coffee or an S presso?

T, thank U.

I don't enV you at all, you know.

That's because I'm so fat from eating Christmas cooking. I think I'm W on the bathroom scales. Let's take a look.

You should always weigh yourself without any clothes, you know.

X pose myself??

Y not? Just do it! It's as eZ as 1, 2, 3.

Not 4 me. It's as if 5 got a phobia of nudity (my own).

I had a 6 sense of that. Too bad you weren't graced with a body like mine, it 7 sent.

I used to have a good physique when I was in my teens, but I 8 too much food and now I'm a pear shaped fifty year old.

Yah, das is right. You look like Colonel Klink (and have his personality), but you have Sergeant Schultz's body, don't you think?

9.