Lessons Never Taught At Truck U.

As I was walking past these two trucks yesterday I was struck by how aggressive they look, at least at first glance. They're big and tall. They have menacing looking grills that seem to say 'watch out'. The push bar on the Dodge (left) says 'if you don't get outta my way, I'm a gonna push ya outta my way' with a blustery bit of Yosemite Sam swagger.

There is no question that the major truck manufacturers in North America (GM, Ford, Dodge) are building trucks that appeal to manly men. All real men drive trucks, right? If you want to be a 'good ol' boy', then you don't show up to the party unless you arrive in a truck. Note: a gun rack ups your rural route cred (formerly known as street cred) even if the only thing you ever hunt for is another roll of toilet paper to wipe your big, fat....ask anyone, it's true.

These trucks could eat my car for breakfast and burp me out like an afterthought. They could suck gas out of shale rocks themselves if they had a fracking straw that was long enough. They could impregnate a parking lot on a summer's evening. They are manly, but what's with all the chrome detailing? Chrome doesn't belong in the woods, Chrome doesn't like mud. Chrome isn't happy in a gravel pit. Chrome is for sissies. Chrome is for posers and pretty boys. Chrome isn't for real men.

Think about it. Did the sea captains of yesteryear tart up their fishing boats? Did the whaling fleets of New Bedford (MA) bling their bows? Do those brave (or stupid) enough to climb Mount Everest take anything along for the ride that isn't absolutely a necessity to ensure life? The answer to all of these questions is a resounding 'hell no'.

So why are the modern trucks of most modern men pretty? Is there an underlying message there? Does it say that men want to appear tough on the outside, but really we just want to be held? Does it say we want to be shiny and pretty? Does it say that we want to be noticed? I suspect that most women are oblivious to these pretty trucks, which insinuates or suggests that men drive tarted up trucks to attract the attention of other men. So what does that say?

I think I'll stop here....it's your turn to think it over. Trucks are built to perform heavy duty tasks like hauling three quarters of a ton of cinder blocks and scrap metal, so why all the lipstick?