A Job Well Done

It doesn't matter if you're twenty-one or forty-nine, the question 'what do you do for a living?' is often asked. It's a tough one to answer for some of us, but some of the better answers are:

1) Why do you ask? This is a great response to turn the spotlight back on the interro-gator.

2) None of your god damned business. This is usually reserved for telemarketers or people you loath (see telemarketing company owners).

3) Well, I was thinking about becoming a psychologist or a serial killer. Can't decide. C'mon up to my apartment and we can discuss this in more detail. Of course, the only thing that gets killed is the conversation. Mission accomplished.

4) I'm currently an amateur musician but I'd love to be a professional musician (see cartoon). It could be your worst nightmare (Ian) or a dream come true (Wendy).

5) I'm a discouraged worker. Please don't ask me again. Lay the guilt trip back on them and likely confuse them, unless they're an economist in which case they'll be supremely satisfied with your answer.

6) Head butt them. Problem solved.

Occasionally I'll be asked 'Ian, what would be the perfect job for you'? My stock answer is "I've got the perfect job." When I was at home with the offspring my answer was accepted, but now I can't use that line because the offspring has sprung off. Quite honestly, I have never known what the answer to that question was...until yesterday.

Yesterday the light bulb came on.

I'd want to do exactly what Gary Larson did. I'd want to be the creator of the Far Side cartoons or something similar. The 'job' combines a wicked sense of wit and punnery, simple but clever graphic abilities, and a delicious sense of irreverence. I'd be self-employed too!

I can imagine no better job....for me. Sure, it would be nice to save lives (born again Christian), feed the poor (Tim Horton's drive-thru attendant), or make the world a better place for our children (diaper rash researcher), but it's better if we follow our hearts.