Head, Abdomen, Thorax...or Beak, Gut, Stilts?

Wendy and I were walking along the side streets of Toronto yesterday having one of our usual colorful discussions. These discussions run the gamut; from household finance to the lifespan of blue cheese (how do you know when it goes bad?).

Yesterday's topic for me was body image...one of my favourites. I've been feeling abdominal bloating here in Toronto and I'd like to know why. My conclusions are typically presented to Wendy in the form of an elegant soliloquy, an animated diatribe, or a sputtering whine (like stale air leaving a balloon). My forensic conclusion was rather brief yesterday....

I blame two things:

1) baked goods.
2) me.

My love of baked goods and lack of discipline got me thinking about my body. I decided that it would be fun to try to reconstruct my body using only three items that most closely represented how I feel about myself physically. The best I could do, and I think I hit a home run, was to see my angry beak and long neck as that of an ostrich. My swollen abdomen is best represented by a chunky and ill apple fritter, and my lanky legs are akin to those of a flamingo.

So there I am. This is how I see myself. Any you? What three things represent your self-perceptions? It's a fun little exercise. In my case, quite literally, little exercise.