Christmas In July...Barely

Happy Canada Day!

Alright, so now it's July....and we all know what that means: finally a four letter month that starts with 'J...U...".

What about June, Ian?

Doh!

Okay, what it really means is Christmas in July. To the best of my knowledge, Christmas In July is a name given to a series of tack shops that sell Christmas ornaments all year long. Their customer base is comprised of morons, dolts, mental midgets, the cerebrally idle, and quite possibly my neighbours. There's one of these shops in Bar Harbor, I believe.

Well, one must do something when it rains.

So, if there was Christmas In July, say on Canada Day, what would I ask Satan (not a typo) for? I'd  ask for a mooring ball boat. Lo and behold, voila and abra-cadabra, look what's right in front of my place this morning!

Thank you, Satan. You're way better than Santa. All I got for Christmas in December was a book about golf jokes (see below) and some freeze dried egg salad sandwich powder, the type Chris Hadfield favours after a studio session in space.

(As a couple approaches the altar the groom tells his wife-to-be, "Honey, I've got something to confess: I'm a golf nut, and every chance I get, I'll be playing golf!" 

"Since we're being honest," replies the bride, "I have to tell you that I'm a hooker." 
The groom replies, "That's okay, honey. You just need to learn to keep your head down and your left arm straight!" )

Why is there a mooring ball boat fifty feet off my shore? My 'siren' is in Italy, so it was nothing femininely nefarious. Last evening the mooring guy from Belleisle was about to move my mooring ball when his transmission conked out. Thinking quickly, and working in a strong southerly wind, he dropped a mooring block as an anchor and averted the inconvenience of a shipwreck. His boat was about to go up on my shore.

In all likelihood he'll repair the transmission this Canada Day morning and move my mooring ball closer to shore. As I said, Christmas In July.  I've been wanting to have the mooring ball moved for years.

Ho, ho, ho (see golf joke).