A De-Icy Situation

Had I come home from my vacation and found a horse's head in my bed, I would have been somewhat horrified. I say 'somewhat' because I'm not really a big fan of horses and not one inclined to feel sympathy for horses.

I saw you crying when Seabiscuit's mother died, Ian! 

That was Bambi, you fool. Seabiscuit wasn't a Disney film. There wasn't any tragic component in the Seabiscuit film other than watching a two hour film about a horse.

And now back to our regular programming....

What would have horrified me would have been MORE LAUNDRY! Thankfully there wasn't a horse's head in my bed, but I was horrified nevertheless. Let me explain...

I'm currently dealing with two competing factions (mafias) who are out to get me. The East Coast mafia has been tampering with my property for some time. The West Coast mafia has been playing with my mind. The West Coast mafia staged a surprise attack when I was on vacation, the taste of which is still very fresh. Mmmmm...pie!

I foolishly allowed the West Coast mafia to stay in my house, in my absence, for one night on their way back to the West Coast. I had a sense that things would not be the same in my house when I returned, but as it turned out everything looked just fine. Just fine. Just fine...until I opened the
freezer door.

ARRGGHHH!

I discovered Nemo, near death, in the freezer, wearing not cement shoes but an ice girdle. Nemo had been semi-submerged in a (Pern) Tupperware container full of water. He was encased in ice like a fishstick: barely breathing, pulse faint (remember, he is a tropical fish and not used to the cold). I took him out and resuscitated him, immediately causing him to have a meltdown.

Oh, and he's pissed now! Nemo is talking retribution, and he has that look in his eyes that says he means business. Ummm, make that 'eye'....he has that look in his eye that he means business.

Let this blog serve notice to the West Coast mafia, a veritable shot across the bow, that Nemo is going to exact revenge. Nemo, and his kind, are going to school you.