Toronto has got Cambridge-Narrows beat all to pieces in this department. In my Toronto condo, I take fresh, lavender scented, day old garbage down the hallway on the 17th floor to a garbage disposal chute. If I choose to wear my bunny slippers while doing so, I can. I don't even have to wear a coat because it's all indoors. There is nothing to fear when taking out the Toronto trash. Well, I suppose there's always the threat of a bear attack.
In Cambridge-Narrows we have no obvious bear population. We have raccoon, squirrels, fox, and the much feared Canadian Air Force....the crows! All of them waiting to attack my garbage. Crows are known to be particularly intelligent. The fact that they're sitting on branches at the end of my driveway every Monday morning is a pretty good sign that they're intelligent. The fact that they eat garbage makes them no different than most consumers I see lined up at Tingley's. Two days ago, in the grocery line-up, I saw a dumpy person buying a bag of chips, two litres of pop, some chip dip and a club pack of gum. I suppose the gum was to mask the wretched breath one would get after eating chips purported to be flavoured with sour cream and onion. Think about it....sour cream and onion....in your mouth. Kiss, kiss. Yeesh! And gawd only knows what toxins were in the chip dip!!
Garbage is today's theme, obviously. You may have noticed something unusual in my trashy picture today. Yes, you guessed it, I use a Casperescent cloaking device to fool the would be predators. The bed sheet over the garbage fools the crows into thinking that I'm simply throwing out some old linens. Crows are smart, but they're not Jean Gaudet smart. It would take a special predator to surmise the would be prize under the bed sheet; one that could sense the electrical signals pulsing forth from my pungent, week old trash. Thankfully, I didn't see the ferocious (and stealthy) garbage shark this morning!
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