The Fishin' Musician And The Aqua Holy Grail

Two days ago I woke up and thought to myself 'I have nothing to write about', so I loaded up the car and moved to Jemmer Seg. Lower, that is. Funny looking birds, weird people.

That's the day when I spotted the glossy ibis. I had a number of other wildlife sightings that day, and my plan was to use those pictures for future blog posts, but then god intervened and he threw me a bone.

Yeah, a fish bone!

I was looking out my window yesterday and I spotted something floating in the lake. For once it wasn't a parade of logs! It was whitish and it reminded me of a dead fish.

That's because it was a dead fish, you dolt!

Yes, but I wasn't sure that it was a dead fish until I walked down to the shore and made a closer inspection. My first thought was 'holy Moby Friggin' Dick'. It was a big fish and I wasn't 100% sure what I had found.

I knew Sir Kenneth Appleby was an avid fisherman and a sort of 'Cliff Clavin' when it came to wildlife. As luck would have it, he happened to be next door working at disGraceland. I invited him to cross the DMZ to check out Moby.

Give a man a fish....

Ken came over and was impressed. He immediately I.D.ed it as a striped bass which is what I had surmised. He said the biggest he had ever seen in our lake was about 28 inches long. This lunker measured in at 35 inches long and weighed over 20 pounds (estimate). It's only because Ken is ripped like Groundskeeper Willie that he was able to lift the fish at all.
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Imagine a fish this size swimming around in the lake, looking for swimmers to grab by any of their 21 digits. That monster was big enough to take down a Sheltie! Sadly, striped bass are more likely to be dining on gasperogies. They'll follow gaspereau upriver and feed voraciously upon them. The rest of the year they live at sea, preferring to nab young children off beaches according to Cliff Clavin.

You made that last paragraph up, didn't you?! Didn't you?? 

Maybe. Looks like we've got a nervous swimmer here, folks. You know when you wear a wedding ring and you go swimming, that flashy ring looks just like a delicious fishing lure. Fish are attracted to shiny things (a-luring). And if you were foolish enough to wear a gold chain in the water, then you'd resemble the king of all gasperogies.

The moral(s) of this story:

1) pray for prey, and god will provide (blog fodder)
2) don't wear bling while swimming or you'll be fish bait.
3) life is better when Ken Appleby is around, because I wasn't about to pick that thing up!