Sunday, January 5, 2014

Danish Leather?

Dear Family Members and Friends, or my readership of three,

Do you see this black thing in today's image? It's your bed if you decide to visit us in Toronto. It's made of real leather. Cow, I presume, but one can't be sure since it was made in China.

Wait! WAIT!

We interrupt this broadcast to reveal  a shocking revelation:

Our sofa, like Wendy's grandfather, came from Denmark.

It. Was. Not. Made. In. China.

Furthermore, Wendy and I were not made in China. We're all Canadian. This sofa honours our heritage.

But I thought you claimed to be a Scottie-Canuck, Ian? You married a Viking, as I understand it, but you're descended from a long line of castle cleaners from Fyvie on one side, and some pseudo intellectual peasants from County Durham in England. Where's the connection to the sofa?

I bought it on sale, does that qualify for Scottish content?

Most definitely. It looks like a sofa though. How am I, your giant alter ego, going to sleep on that?

It folds down into a double bed. We've got sheets, pillows, blankets, chocolates for the turned back sheets, everything. All we need is someone to visit! Actually we've even got a family member booked to spend a few nights on it. Franny is coming to Toronto and staying with Wendy (I'm still holding down the fort in N.B.). As for the rest of you, Motel Nielsen/Varty is open for business. Our rates are competitive, the staff is competent, and there's a traditional full Scottish breakfast included!

I've heard of a full English breakfast, but what's a full Scottish breakfast, Ian?

That would be turnip porridge and Earl Grey tea?

Aeroplane?

Earl Grey.

Aeroplane??

You're just toying with me, aren't you?

Auch aye <insert wink and/or full Popeye with upper-cut>!








1 comment:

  1. Can't wait to try it out! But I think I just may skip the Scottish breakfast :-) (No offence. They're my ancestors too!)

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