Solved! The Mystery Of The Poo Shrooms

"What's that smell?", I said aloud as I walked through Toronto's Queen's Park in November of 2013. A less-than-faint, more-than-overpowering odor of dog sh_t cut through the crisp autumn air. It's no secret that there's dog sh_t everywhere in Toronto, particularly on the fringes of sidewalks and in the parks.

The smell of doggy doo-doo lasted for about two weeks, and it was always in the same place in Queen's Park (ironically not where the elected officials sat...as in, the legislature...that's more often bullsh_t than dog sh_t). I was not the only one who noticed the poison poo zone. Robert K, pianist of note, also commented on the sour nasal note as he walked through the park, as did Wendy.

Now, here's where things get strange....on most mornings, some aged Chinese-Canadians would be picking mushrooms in the exact area where the smell was the strongest. I naturally assumed that it was the mushrooms that were creating the foul air. At Christmastime I mentioned the poo-shroom mystery to a friend who is well versed on all-things-mycological. During our conversation it came out that it wasn't the mushrooms that smelled bad, but the tree under which they were growing.

The mushrooms that were being harvested were in close proximity to a Ginkgo biloba tree. Ginkgo is native to China and is a large tree that can live for over a thousand years. The seed of the Ginkgo 'is attractive in appearance, but contains butyric acid (also known as butanoic acid) and smells like rancid butter or vomit when fallen' (from Wikipedia).

You can't imagine the comfort I found in the discovery that it wasn't dog sh_t or poo shrooms, especially since people were clearly harvesting them. Knowing that it was simply a seed from a tree that smelled of rancid butter or vomit just brightened up my day. The stinko ginkgo!

There is one mystery left....what kind of mushrooms were the Chino-Canucks picking? My mycological adviser said they might have been magic mushrooms! This just keeps getting more and more interesting. Next November I will attempt to gather some of these mushrooms, braving the vomit air that abounds. I will brew them into a hallucinogenic tea, pour them into my finest China mug, and down them. I will then write about it.

Finally your blog might get interesting, Ian!

Picture yourself in a park in the city
With smelly old trees and vomity skies
Somebody calls you, you answer quite slowly
A immigrant with kaleidoscope eyes.

Doggy shit seeds of yellow and green
Tower over your head
Looking for the girl with some in her hands
And she's gone.

Lucy on the ground with mushrooms.
Lucy on the ground with mushrooms.
Lucy on the ground with mushrooms.
Aaaaaaaaahhhhhhh.......