You Are Being Stalked By A Google Monster

I received an e-mail from a friend of mine the other day. He's a young guy from Nova Scotia who's working out west in the tar sands at the moment. To protect his identity I'll only refer to him as Colin.

Colin has had the opportunity to work on a mobile crane as of late and he's finding that far more interesting (and safer) than working as a roughneck at oil rig sites. He's considering going to crane operator school next September and making a career of it. I replied back to him, via e-mail, that I thought any training in 'the trades' was a good idea.

Now, here's where things get interesting. On the same day that Colin's e-mail came in and my reply went out, a small banner ad appeared above my e-mail inbox. The ad (today's image) said: Crane & Hoist Training (it also gave a web site and some other details). This happens to me all the time, and I suspect it happens to you too. It's the 'same day' speed which left me somewhat bothered. I might as well have had a Google employee (we'll call him Will Look-Ins to protect his identity) sitting on the couch with me. Imagine having a guy named Will reading all your private e-mails!

On the upside, if there was a Google employee called Will who read my e-mails then he'd be under-employed. It's not a full-time job. Perhaps I could get him to clean the bathroom, or rake the yard. Maybe I could teach him to play ping pong or windsurf. Wait! I know what to do with Will...

I'll enroll him in Crane Operator school. He can then lift himself off my couch and drop his sorry ass into the lake. Sheesh.

Just know that if you send e-mails where you write about male bird and lollipops then you might get an embarrassing banner ad extolling the virtues of being a  ____________. Well, I'm not going to type that word, but I suspect Google will be using that word in a banner ad targeting me in the next few minutes (just as soon as I post this blog).

Don't say that I didn't warn you. There's a Google Monster on your couch, inside your computer, in the walls of your house. And if you have a painting on the wall with eyes, it's watching you! Even the word gOOgle has a pair of eyes watching you.

P.S. I'm not actually suffering from paranoia (yet), but if I was then there'd be a Google banner ad which would appear just in time to save me from myself.