Ted Hailed Rocks On Valentine's Day

Yesterday, Valentine's Day, two red-tailed hawks floated gracefully in front of my condo, sailing towards heaven in a clockwise courtship.

How do you know they weren't lesbian hawks, Ian?

Good point. We once had lesbian ducks in Cambridge-Narrows. Anything is possible. In any case that doesn't rule out love on Valentine's Day.

I happened to be in Tingley's (Loblaw's) last evening around 7pm. It seemed busier than one would expect for a Friday night, that also happened to be Valentine's Day. Shouldn't people be in bed together, or in bars alone? Did I mention there was a full moon last evening too? There was an embarrassing long line-up at the flower department counter. People, mostly bad bad bad men, were desperately vying for the opportunity to buy their loved ones bouquets before the calendar screamed February 15. God forbid.

I shook my head at the man-made ordeal we call Valentine's Day. As I exited Tingley's I walked past the artisanal baked goods and cupcake counter. The display was half filled with pinkish cupcakes, titillatingly top heavy with icing like something from a Dolly Madison wet dream...or a Dolly Parton bustier. Milling around the counter were a half dozen latter day ain'ts, except they are....or they hope they will be. If lucky, there will be a trail of cupcake crumbs leading to their collective bedrooms. if not, they'll be drinking alone at Hooters with the other has beens or weren'ts...or writing a blog. It's a funny world we live in.

I, being proud and defiant, refused to join the fray. There was no way I was going to buy Wendy flowers or cupcakes on February 14. I don't want to be society's sugary pawn. Though  Hallmark might tell me to jump, I don't ever intend to ask 'how high'. The ritual and/or the price is always too high, yet below me.

So you didn't get your lovely wife anything, you selfish (yet logical and principled) bastard??

Oh, jeez, of course I did.

So you 'bought in'?

Not exactly. Yesterday was simply a day when I happened to buy Wendy better-than-normal chocolate. Today I'll go back to buying her regular chocolate.

Did Wendy express her love to you by doing something exceedingly nice on Valentine's Day?

Yes, she gave me the greatest gift of all.  The one that every tartan-blooded Scottish man dreams of....she paid for the chocolate!