Saturday, February 8, 2014

The Fast And The Furry Among Us


Do you remember Alvin and the Chipmunks? They're those lovable furry varmints that took the world by storm, and held it captive for over 50 years and counting. Believe it or not, the Chipmunks and their high pitched voices were unleashed on the world back in 1958. What's more unbelievable is that Alvin and the Chipmunks have won five Grammy Awards over the years.

Do you remember the Bee Gees? They're those lovable furry varmints that took the world by storm and held it captive during the disco era. Believe it or not, the Bee Gees and their high pitched voices were unleashed on the world in 1958 too. Unlike the Chipmunks, they've won nine Grammy Awards over the years. Also, unlike Alvin and the Chipmunks, they made no effort to hide their nuts.

Now I'm no big fan of the Bee Gees' music or wardrobe, but isn't it a bit depressing to think that Alvin and the Chipmunks have won five Grammy Awards? Taylor Swift has won seven. Rush has won none. <sigh>

The point of today's blog is not to gripe about Grammy Awards, but to bring to the attention of my dwindling readership the importance of speed. The Chipmunks voices were a human voice played on high speed, nothing more. And this gets you a Grammy Award...sheesh.

Perhaps I should win an Oscar for my winter sledding adventure short films that I 'unleashed on the world' at Christmastime? Charlie Chaplin got there long before me, visually. The Chipmunks, acoustically, had me beat by decades. The fact of the matter is that we're greatly entertained by anything played faster than normal.

As I wandered down the avenues of Toronto last week, under a pall of misery, I wondered what a fire truck would sound like on high speed, hence today's video. Then I had my 'hoooooeeelllllllleeeeeee sssshhhhheeeeeee-aaaattttttt' moment and wondered how it would sound slowed down. Not quite as impressive as Wendy's 'over the handlebars' slo-mo moment of fame, but still interesting.

Every single day I hear the screaming sounds of fire truck sirens racing past me. It's quite deafening at times. I often see people covering their ears to dull the sonic assault. I guess this is what reminded me of Alvin and the Chipmunks (same reaction). I wanted to know if the sound was more tolerable at high speed, or, at the very least, cute. It isn't, but at least it's over more quickly. I apply this logic to the Chipmunks.

Well, I've sucked enough helium out of the balloon for this blog. Ta ta.

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