If you lumped all of these together then you still wouldn't have something as offensive as the Paris-Hilton-Came-To-My-Store picture that appears in the window of a framing/photo store on Wellesley Street.
The inscription on the photo reads "To Photo Dude...Thanks for everything, love the pics. Love always. Paris Hilton. xoxo."
Apart from the fact that she doesn't even know the poor sap's name, there are a lot of references to love in the dedication. Makes me wonder is she paid by cash, or some other means.
Makes me wonder why the owner of this store would put this picture in his window. Why? Why! Why!!
It's because there are people on our beautiful pathetic planet who will see this as an endorsement of Photo Dude's talent. I mean, wow, if his photo developing is good enough for a badly behaved, c-list starlet (spell check won't accept 'harlet' before 11 a.m.), then he must be really good. You know for a fact that Paris Hilton sees the world more clearly than the rest of us. You know, while in Toronto, she scoured the city, from fair Scarborough to Mississfrigginsauga to find celebrity-worthy photo developing. There is absolutely no chance that this photo developing store just happened to be around the corner from her Comfort Inn suite. None whatsoever.
Why am I so repulsed (and amused) by this window display? Because it highlights the pitiful human craving for idolatry.
You shall have no other gods before me.
Is that you, God?
No, it's me, you're alter ego. I just turned off the italics and used a larger font to trick you. It's my way of saying that we should not worship Paris Hilton before god. I used Commandment #2 from the bible to make my point.
It says no other gods 'before me', but what about after?
Good question. The bible didn't address that. It's not often all that clear on things.
It's pretty clear about dealing with the neighbour's wife and his livestock, eh?
Oh yeah. Commandment ten: "You shall not covet your neighbor's house; you shall not covet your neighbor's wife, or his male servant, or his female servant, or his ox, or his donkey, or anything that is your neighbor's."
It's not likely that I'll covet my neighbour's wife! At least not in Cambridge-Narrows!! His wife is his donkey!!! Wait a minute...did it say that I shouldn't covet my neighbour's 'male servant'? Who the hell has a male servant these days?
Oprah has Dr.Phil, and Earle has Ken, but those are the only two that come to mind. Even Paris Hilton, with all of her family wealth from their family business of bedding people, doesn't have a man servant. If she did then he would have done her bidding at the photo store. He would have been the one to 'get the pics', there would be no celebratory 'look-at-me-with-a-celebrity' photo and I'd be short one blog.
So blame Paris Hilton for today's blog. Is that what you're saying, Ian?
No, blame humans. Our obsession is rampant. Last week Wendy and I dined at a Greek restaurant on the Danforth. The walls of the restaurant were adorned with images of the owners mugging it up with celebrities/politicians, most of whom I didn't recognize. That said, a black & white of über celeb Bob Rae was watching me while I ate. Or was it Pete Carroll (coach of the Seattle Seahawks)? The resemblance is uncanny.
Have you ever been in a restaurant or business that featured pictures of 'famous' people on the wall? Of course you have. The real question is 'did it affect or influence your decision to enter the store or make a purchase'? In the case of the photo store on Wellesley Street, it's enough to keep me away (see fatwa). If the best that this business can do is to self-validate by using a misguided celebrity endorsement, then how does that build my confidence in their work?
Celebrity endorsements are worthless to people like me. I'm unaffected by the allure of celebrity...completely immune to it. In fact, I'm repulsed by it, unless the celebrity is really knowledgeable...and cool! Did I mention the 'Canadian Tire know-it-all' lives in my building? That is just so amazing! It makes me vicariously cool. I'll try to get a picture of myself with him...maybe he'll even write a personal note on the photo.
"To Stalker Dude...maybe now you'll leave me alone. Hate you. Mr.Mastercraft. xoxo. P.S. Hi to Julian."
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