Toronto Parking: Rule #1

If you live in Toronto and manage to find a parking spot on the street, then you never want to give that space up. If you give it up, then it will be lost forever.

This brings me, not surprisingly, to Rule #1 of Toronto parking: once you've found the perfect parking spot, don't ever move your vehicle. It's the only rule of parking, so don't go looking for Rule #2.

This begs the question: why own a vehicle?

There can be a number of reasons. Here's a few that come to mind:

1) Prestige. Most people want to impress their friends by parking their vehicle in front of their home. The owner of the truck in today's image is likely no different. Justifiably, his truck is a raving beauty with its jazzy racing stripes and natty white cap. Older, for sure, but still quite attractive, not unlike the models in the Grey Power ads.

2) Outrun the four horsemen of the apocalypse. When the horse-mounted harbingers of doom arrive, do you really think you can outrun them on the TTC? And don't bother asking the driver for a transfer....next stop: hell (in lieu of hell, drop me at Dundas Square). In summary, you need a readily available ride with more than four horsepower (this is why I didn't bother bringing the Focus wagon to Toronto). You might want something with big tires and a modified cow catcher because not only do you have to outrun four horsemen, but you'll also need to toast a lamb along the way. Keep some rosemary, sea salt and tin foil in the glove compartment as you'll still want to eat well while on the lamb.

3) If you don't park in front of your million dollar tenement, someone else will. And you just never know what you might get....

I actually like this car but I understand that it wouldn't suit everyone's aesthetic and it might actually cause a collective mental anguish if parked in Rosedale.

I'm sure Rosedale, the hill of forests and the path bridled have by-laws to prevent this sort of atrocity. In Kensington Market it's to be expected.

You might be amazed by the number of vehicles that I see in Toronto that appear to be 'snowed in' or parked permanently on the streets. Perhaps this is why parking for those in search of it, is such a challenge/nightmare in this city.

Here's a fact that might put parking into perspective: The City of Toronto issued 2,761,802 parking tickets in 2012, worth about $94 million dollars in revenue, down 2.5 per cent from a year earlier (CBC). If you find a spot that's legal, you keep it. In Toronto, owning a vehicle is not about driving...it's about parking. Find, or be fined. I'm glad, almost euphoric, that I don't have a car in Toronto.