Bigmouth Strikes Again

When you've been married for 27 years, as Wendy and I have, you run out of 'normal' things to say and do. You start to act really weird. Need proof? Okay, here goes....

Yesterday Wendy said to me, "I was watching you eat a cracker the other day. You were able to put it in your mouth sideways without difficulty. I tried that myself and found that the corners of my mouth were stretched uncomfortably. You have a big mouth."

Wendy then suggested that we get a ruler out and measure our mouths. Here are the stats:

Mouth at rest (Wendy); 5.5 cm
Mouth at rest (Ian): 5.5 cm

Mouth wide open (Wendy): 8.75 cm
Mouth wide open (Ian): 10 cm

She was right, I do have a big mouth! Wendy's mouth is perfect for creating those tight 'O Vowels' that opera singers are always blabbering about. Combine it with that big noggin of hers, et voila! You've got yourself an opera singer. My mouth is elastic and flaps when I stick it out of the car window at high speeds. Woof! Woof, woof!! I have a little head which is ideal for peeking through doorways and windows, but not much use for opera.

So, there you have it....life after 27 years of marriage to a bigmouth.