Trash Talkin'

On December 12 I flew from Toronto to Fredericton. It's a two hour flight during which I would typically have my nose glued to the window, watching Ontario, Quebec and Maine pass below me. I love the view under my plane's belly. Sadly there was cloud cover for most of the flight so I was forced to entertain myself in other ways.

In situations like these there are two obvious choices:

1) talk to the person next to you,

2) read Air Canada's enRoute magazine.

I took a good look at the woman sitting next to me and even ran my hands through her hair. She was very attractive, but I decided that I should probably not pester her so I clutched my copy of enRoute and cracked open the pages. Besides, Wendy was reading her book.

When you hold a copy of enRoute in your hands you think 'wow, substantial magazine', but then you realize it's printed in both French and English. That diminishes it by close to 50%. Take away the ads and the Air Canada propaganda, and you're left with a smallish magazine featuring destinations that'll you'll probably never see unless you happen to be reading this while parkin' yer rich, fat arse in business class. I wasn't.

So, what did you do, Ian?

I scanned the ads. They're by far the most entertaining. Take a look at today's image...

The model looks like something I'd carry to the curbside.  Correct me if I'm wrong, but she looks like she's standing in a bag of garbage, holding a bag of garage, with a garbage bag draped around her shoulders. The expression on her face says 'where is that smell coming from'? Find a mirror, honey. This 'fashion' is outrageous, though I'll give the designer credit for one-upping the homies with their saggy crotch jeans (the former gold medalist for useless and inane fashion statements).

This ad reminds me of two things:

1) if I 'liberate myself from the ordinary', as the ad suggests, I'll look like a complete fool,

2) it's Monday morning, 8 a.m., I'd better take the garbage out.