Helping Me Get To The Next Level

When I was thirteen years old I retired from my illustrious career as a 'child hockey star'. I got into the sport early because that's what all the kids in the neighbourhood were doing. Hockey was our religion.

I experimented by playing left wing, defence, and finally I settled in as a goalie, The goalie position was perfect for me....little or no skating involved. It was much easier on the ankles and, quite frankly, warmer with all that extra padding. The rinks of my youth were notoriously cold and dank, but none worse than the Minto arena. I still have nightmares about that place.

I played until I was thirteen, at which time I decided that I preferred skiing. Skiing gave me a thrill that hockey couldn't. There's no adrenaline rush having people fire pucks at you. I was never hurt by a puck, other than psychologically. Hockey wasn't all that social either, unlike skiing where you can chat with girls on the t-bar. As a goalie you just stood by yourself for an hour, smelled bad, watched a red light go on frequently, got the stink eye from team-mates, then went home and ate grilled cheese sandwiches. Ah, the glory days.

Fast forward to 2014....I wander around Toronto looking for thrills. Looking for something dangerous that will get my blood pumping. I can't snowboard in the city. I can't kite ski here. I can't windsurf. I need an adrenaline rush and I need it now!

What's with today's image, Ian? How does that figure into your new master plan? You're not into hockey, right?

I'm not into regular hockey, but women's hockey is another thing altogether! I remember, in junior high and high school, watching girls play basketball. They were aggressive. Vicious. They never played by the rules. They just beat each other senseless, with the winner holding the ball at the end of every dust-up. Elbows were high, bodies were flying. There might have even been biting! Sorry, that was men's boxing, but I suspect pinching was rampant. Girls' basketball was the precursor to UFC.

We didn't have girls' hockey when I was young, because the girls were too exhausted to play hockey after basketball. Female hockey is big now. Huge. My, how times have changed. The vehicle in today's blog image reminded me of how big women's hockey has become. If you can buy and operate a Ford Flex with custom graphics that supports a female hockey business, then business is booming like a Wickenheiser slapshot.

After seeing this nicely decorated vehicle, it occurred to me that I should give hockey another chance. I'm not going to play with the boys, they're too boring. I want an adrenaline rush. I want danger. I want violence. The stick figure on the van isn't even wearing a helmet! Crazy!!

Why not just play women's basketball then?

Hey, I want a thrill but I'm not prepared to risk my life!